Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Great Eight of the March City Manager Madness

GRB defeats Chip
In our Battle of the Wordsmiths, sponsored by Merriam-Webster, we had one of the most interesting match-ups this tournament.  For those of you newer Dunwoody residents, GaryRay, aka GRB, is a Dunwoody guy relocated from Chicago.  He likes to comment on the local blogs and maintains Dunwoody's only copperhead habitat.  His poetic skills are known from here to Doraville to distant lands such as Hiram and Waycross.  He is related, we believe, to fellow blog commenter 'Daughter of the Poet' and is arch rival of 'Rob', formerly a commenter on DunwoodyPatch. Chip is yet another blog commenter, and a part-time junior editor/contributor to DunwoodyTalk.  I first met Chip at Lemonade Days, where he rode the Spaceship ride for 39 minutes consecutively.  Chip's blogosphere rivals include FarmerBob, DP Groupie, and pretty much everyone else.  Chip's actual place of residence is unknown, but we think he hails from the Snyder of Berlin family or the Snyder's of Hanover family. 

This match-up was played on a portable sport-court, hastily installed in front of Simply Thai on N Shallowford, a known Chip hotspot. The game started off with a GRB coppersnake handling routine followed by Daughter of a Poet playing God Bless America on a piano.  GRB wore his traditional uniform; a white wife-beater T-shirt (he is a kind man, we refer to the shirt style only) and cut-off denim shorts, Converse classics, topped with his  trademark red, white, and blue bandana.  Chip wore his 'home' uniform;  royal blue trunks with thin gold piping and a matching top.  Guest referee was TwoDogsTowing.

GRB defeated Chip in a tight game, 103-101, our highest score of the tournament.  

 TheOtherDunwoody advances over SDOC
TheOtherDunwoody locked up a date on the hardwood with GRB by taking care of SDOC.  TOD displayed his old-school skills, displaying his Bob Cousy style of play.  Wearing original Chuck Taylor's (mint in box condition by the way) TOD controlled all aspects of the game.  SDOC could not get her cache to refresh.  It brings to an end the run of the home-based basketball court activist.  "I'll continue to advocate for all Dunwoody residents.  I wish much success for TOD over GRB," said a calm and relaxed SDOC.  "I can now focus on things that really matter like A Taste of Dunwoody and that Butterfly and bourbon event the Nature Center does every year."

Danny911Ross defeats StayHarris
As expected, nearly every female has been eliminated from this contest as StayHarris' elimination leaves only Sustainable Pattie as the city's only possible first female Manager.  It's well known this is a men's club around here and many emailed us asking why women were even selected in the tournament.  Here's an example:

Dear Dunwoody Talk,

I like the idea of the March City Manager Madness.  It looks like something two guys drinking in a bar all afternoon would come up with.  Anyway, why are there females in it?  Do you really think a female can manage projects and parks like Brook Run?  All those sports fields and the thousands of visitors to Brook Run every weekend?  And you want a girl in charge of that or other stuff like storm water?  You're getting soft on this blog.

A once faithful reader,


Well, we decided to allow males and females, super heroes and non super heroes, a potato chip, journalists bloggers, and even the BP Posse.  We're not sure if Sustainable Pattie can make it to the Final Four, but females across Dunwoody wish her best of luck.

StayHarris did not have a chance in this game.  Danny911Ross compromised the JumboTron at the GA Music Hall of Fame arena and had a 'Danny' video playing during the entire game.  "Are you kidding me?  I had to listen to Otis Redding sing as a video of pine trees being mulched played.  I am filing a protest and believe me, the DHA has my back on this one," shouted StayHarris at a post-game wine tasting event.  "Back home in Louisiana, we call that tactic 'home-cooking'," laughed Danny911. 

Heyward defeats Witty
Heyward has officially won his second tournament game. equaling the number of votes at one of his District 2 precincts.  "I want to thank all my fans today, and remind you that The Dunwoody Chamber meets monthly," said Heyward.  "And I have to admit - I'm not really related to the Braves player named Heyward.  And one more thing, DunwoodyTalk earned less than 15% of the votes citywide back in 2011.  So I feel pretty good about being in the Great Eight."  Danny911Ross is reportedly hard at work on his Mac making a new video for his match against Heyward.  Witty put on a good show for the crowd and vowed to stay involved.  "I thought we had the better team, but we're okay here.  Now let's work on that independent school district issue."


Chip said...

I have to give credit to GRB for his clever game plan. Team Chip knew there would be a copperhead theme, and quickly dismissed those tall wiggly-worm inflatables painted to look like copperheads and water moccasins.

The deciding factor was having "Daughter of the Poet" read the epic of Gilgamesh in the original Sumerian over a Mister-Microphone, and occasionally stumbling over the pronunciation and deliberately mis-quoting the text.

Everyone knows that Chip can't abide error and will go out of his way to admonish and instruct the errant. Unfortunately, while I was correcting DOTP's pronunciation of Enmebaragesi and explaining the historical record supporting his kingship, GRB took the opportunity to make a run for the basket, winning handily with an easy layup at the buzzer.

Well played, sir! Well played!

GaryRayBetz said...

My isn't this virtual victory exciting! As of late, with my agedness and stoicism, just achieving ennui is elation enough for me, but this is really off the charts - I'm feeling almost faint reaching such heady heights.

This victory could actually have legs for my life, I never became my wife's knight in shining armor - my attempts through the years to become her feudal hero all rang futile. Perhaps this might just be the event that allows me to win back her affections, she was never much of a fight fan but always big on the cagers.

Let me proceed to honor my vanquished opponent, Chip, he must be acknowledged for raising insightful and intelligent rhetoric in Dunwoody to levels not seen since Plato's Classical Greek symposiums or less hyperbolically, since William F. Buckley, Jr.'s "Firing Line".

And now a word of warning to my upcoming opponent, I play a mean game of street ball, not that I play just a notch above the level of my opponent's ability, but my Northwest-side Chicago Logan Square neighborhood taught me not just street smart confidence, but learned me deftness and shrewdness through childhood life lessons.

I willing admit, my next opponent "The Other Dunwoody", is far far my superior of a scribe, he/she writes like a freaking angel, I swear! However, just know many times before I've faced far more formidable opponents, and if y'all want to add this little anecdote to my biography it should prove a clue to the coda of the game - when I was a teen in Chicago I worked nights and took the "L" home those late hours, and one night standing alone on the platform I observed the most vicious thugs of our area, the "Insane Unknowns", tramping towards me, so fearfully I stripped down to my boxer shorts and stood on the tracks' 3rd rail and shrilly shouted - "OK, Insane Unknowns, who's crazy now?! Who's crazy now???!!!"

To those who want to follow me on Twitter, I'm at: @GaryRayBetz ...my blog though, I don't advise to the laity, it's just a discussion of postmodern literature appealing to only my snooty little coterie - you know the type - speech and writings wrought with neologisms and ultra subtle abstruse puns.