Monday, April 7, 2014

Captain Kingsley New Dunwoody City Manager

In the spirit of hard-working Dunwoody folk, Captain Kingsley has captured the crown of Dunwoody City Manager.  Captain Kingsley replaces Warren officially on April 26.  "I'm honored to become the city's 2nd ever City Manager.  I look forward to leading our city in a safe and healthy direction.  Annual pay raises and a car allowance are also nice perks not currently enjoyed by yours truly," said a tearful Captain Kingsley.  "My first order of business will be backyard poultry, followed by Walk to Council Meeting Mondays."

Warren, packing his bags for Johns Creek added, "Captain Kingsley's background in fitness, reading, and producing fancy multi-media productions suit him well for the position and I'll leave a stapler and hole-punch on my desk for him."

"Disappointed?  Hell no.  I made it to the championship game.  Weaker men folded much earlier in this contest.  Captain Kingsley is an okay dude and will steer this ship in the right direction," said GaryRayBetz.  "I missed Wrestlemania 30 over this, but I'll get over that, I hope."

"This is a guy I think we can work with.  Although his roots are questionable, he's not an idiot.  I've reached out to him already and we are meeting at Hickory House to discuss the SaveDunwoodyPac8 agenda," said Norb.

Team Wingate chimed in from the arena's box seats, "The mask is a little disturbing, but those tight leggings are kinda hot."

"I'll hold judgement until I know if this Captain is working from home or not.  The code clearly states a SLUP is needed for all mask-wearing super heroes," commented SDOC.

The usual crowd gathered early at the BP gas station to discuss this event.  "He drops in here once in a while.  He usually gets $15 unleaded gas, a Diet Pepsi, some beef jerky, and a pack of Marlboro Reds, hard box.  The guy is animate on the hard box, says the soft pack crushes in those pants of his," commented an unknown BP Posse member.  

"I have invited him to the Meng House.  He better show up as we have lots to discuss," stated MengHouseTony.

Mayor Davis said he is anxious to meet with Captain Kingsley.  "My staff has been instructed to let him in the door so we can discuss all options.  Although we appointed Chief Grogan as interim city manager, there may be some wiggle room there.  Our legal staff is on it."

In celebration of the victory, the Kingsley PTA has renamed the school library's Dewey Decimal system as the Captain Kingsley Decimal System and the Kingsley Swim and Tennis has dedicated its first home swim meet in Captain's honor.
Captain Kingsley and Princess comet take a victory walk

Congratulations to Captain Kingsley, our new city manager


GaryRayBetz said...

Well, those of you who know me, know I won't use the potholes in the Dunwoody streets where I twisted my ankle while doing my training road work or the incessantly barking dogs at the dog park that kept this athlete from his beauty sleep as an excuse, or my most artful opponents when they insisted the still rocking 63 year old peroxide blonde cheerleader perform her routines pantie-less prior to everyone of my jump shots.

No, I won't rationalize this loss with excuses, I shall not deny Dunwoody its schadenfreude, which no matter it be a fallen loquacious politician or a seemingly passionless murder victim's widow who might have experienced a slight case of office infatuation - the people of Dunwoody demand their greatest indulgence, whither it be communicated via their local tearful tabloid, their blogs, or the defamation denizens of the doggie defecation grounds.

Thus Dunwoody yes, I won't deny you - you may have your precious schadenfreude, yes, oh self-assuredly good people of Dunwoody, this loss has broken me - I am a broken man. Flee from me now as I am made of naught but failure...

I know strong teams and families are built with compersion, not glee at others misfortunes, so to you Captain Dunwoody, well deserved, and to you noble Dunwoody Talk, again - well done, sir!

"But deeds and language such as men do use, and persons such as comedy would choose, when she would show an image of the times, and sport with human follies, not with crimes."

- Ben Jonson

Bev Wingate said...

City Manager March Madness has been great fun from beginning to end! Thank you Al and Heyward for your creative ideas. And most of all, thank you Rick for taking the ball and truly running with it (Note: I did not say traveling with it - i do know the rules).

From game to game, bracket to bracket, we all had fun laughing at ourselves and each other. It was fun to attend events and hear people laughing about CMMM and sharing in the enjoyment. You brought a breath of fresh air to Dunwoody that will long be remembered.

Now I have to find Captain Kingsley - do you think he is committed to Princess Comet?

Colleen O'Casey said...

Tsk, tsk, tsk Gary Ray Betz, I know you are a good man, and raised some wonderful children, but I would have thought you would have washed off the stench of the penitentiary by now.

Really now honey, deranged, nihilistic, and self-abasing is no way to go through the rest of your life.