Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Fear the Red Shirts?

Sales of red colored shirts are on the rise across Dunwoody.  At Target, down yonder in the PCID (by Taco Mac and other fine eateries) red T-shirts for females are in demand.  "I'm not sure why these seniors are buying red T-shirts.  They usually buy blouses at JC Penney or Macy's," commented a young clerk in Target's apparel section.  "And the men are buying them also," added the Target employee.  Local clothing stores in the Village area are seeing an influx of red shirt buyers as well.  "We always see green and red sweater sales increase this time of year, but this year sales of red are edging green by 37%.  I have never seen anything like this," commented an anonymous source at an anonymous store in da Vill.
Recent Protest Rally in Dunwoody Village
Recent Rally at Brook Run (Protestors want an indoor dog park now, as well as a grooming station for dogs)
Dunwoody Residents waiting on elevator at city hall, trying to get a meeting with city manager
In a rare Rally of Support, the RedShirts cheer for a Mixed Use Village in the Perimeter area

So why red?  It seems that loosely organized citizens of Dunwoody opposed to anything and everything believe that wearing red and sitting at a meeting signals to mayor and council that you are mad, smart, informed, and opposed to the topic at hand.  Quebec has its Red Square wearers, Thailand has its RedShirt loyalist group.  But why here in Georgia?  Is it because red is a color that gets noticed?  Perhaps not.  It is a little known fact that at least two council members are color blind, perhaps three.  Going back 150 years or so a group of Red Shirts appeared shortly after the Reconstruction era.  These Red Shirts of the South were liberal Democrats, focusing their protests on Republicans.  But fear not, today's Red Shirt group in Dunwoody share no common goals of the Red Shirts of old. In history red was chosen as a protest color as red represented blood, and of course everyone is afraid of blood.

So the Dunwoody Red Shirts have protested the Dunwoody Parkway project, supported a dog park, opposed the Wo-Ver MACK intersection, opposed parks, opposed eating ice cream on Tuesdays, and may even oppose Santa Clause, the most famous red-wearing shirt person in history.

So we have all these complaints of alleged financial waste.  I will admit, it is nice for people to be involved in local issues.  But it is puzzling to see where and when the Red Shirts protest.  Let's look at Dunwoody Parkway.  People oppose the removal of trees in a median, trees that shade no one but instead contribute to an accident-laden roadway.  And what will this parkway project cost the average Dunwoody resident?  Approximately $21.  Yes, Dunwoody parkway will cost every household a one-time fee of $21.  The roundabout?  Perhaps $15 per household when all said and done.  Of course the homeowners losing part of their yard will absorb the big hit, no denying that.

A person owning a $300,000 home pays nearly $284 to the city of Dunwoody.  All this complaining week after week over $284.  A nice red blouse costs nearly $50!  Add in matching leggings at $30, red shoestrings $3, red lipstick $6.  And you can't own just one red shirt.

So back to that $300,000 house.  You pay $265 for trash service.  Are there Red Shirts on the streets Monday and Thursday protesting the gas guzzling yellow beasts?  Nope.

Now the big one: The average homeowner in Dunwoody is paying $2,500 a year (nearly ten times what they pay the city) to DeKalb School System.  Are the Red Shirts at school board meetings?  After all, $2,500 is a lot more than $284. Why are the Red Shirts not protesting DeKalb schools over the millions and millions of wasted dollars?  Why are the Red Shirts not protesting the trailers at Dunwoody schools?  Why are the Red Shirts not protesting the school superintendent?  Why aren't the Red Shirts fighting for great teachers and principals in the schools?